After just six weeks living in Austin, God has brought ten people into my life standing at a crossroads, trying to figure out what they believe about life, its purpose, and God. Tonight I watched football with a new friend and marveled at how we stumbled into a conversation about God. No one tried to make it happen. God just did it naturally and my friend shared with me his intentional journey to figure out what he believes about God and life.

Ten people in six weeks. Here's what baffles me: I didn't try to go out and get these people to share spiritual things. It just happened. I'm awkward at small talk, by nature way too D ("dominant" on the DISC personality profile) to be good with people, so when a Christian tells me, "Oh that's your gift," I don't buy it.

God is teaching me a lesson I've been slow to learn: hundreds of thousands of people around this globe, statistically millions, are on a spiritual quest to find the truth about life. And here's where it gets better: they're open. Most people aren not fundamental atheists, warming up the Richard Dawkins chain saw so they can de-limb another Christian apologetic that’s arguing for the resurrection of Jesus. People will share with you and listen to you if you just let them know by your attitude and and non-verbal communication that they are important to you, and that you love them no matter how different they are from you. Remember Paul’s words to the pagans in Athens, “[God] has made from one man every nation of mankind...that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us” (Acts 17:26-27).

The traditional idea that all a pastor needs to do is study hard, preach good sermons, do some counseling, ministry planning, and writing on the side, and then pass out a couple tracts with a few shot-in-the-arm gospel conversations is as faulty as it is unbiblical. Jesus did not just tell people how to live. He modeled it. And modeling takes time. It means being with people in their circle. If I won’t take time to show the people of my congregation how I interact with people who don’t follow Jesus by letting them watch me do it right here in my living room or at the park, or at a pool table, I’m a fool to think that I can teach my people how to love others by telling a few victory stories from the pulpit. I need to let them see me stumble over my words, struggle to love people more unconditionally, and see that I am a student forever on how to do this more effectively and naturally.

Jesus spent as much time modeling love as He did teaching it. Paul didn't say, "Listen to me as I listen to Christ." He said, "Follow me as I follow Christ" (1 Cor 11:1). I've heard countless sermons interpreting Jesus' command to Peter to "Feed My sheep" to mean, "Preach meaty sermons." Oh, but that is just one spoke in the wheel, an essential spoke, but nevertheless, just one spoke!

Shepherds did not feed their sheep by bringing them a bag of packaged grass. They had to lead them to grass. They had to walk somewhere so the sheep could follow. They had to beat the snot out of wolves, lions, and bears who tried to eat their sheep. They had to live with their under sun and stars. Understandably, it is physically impossible (and not recommended) to spend all our time with the people in our churches. But the importance of teaching by modeling, in other words incarnational ministry, is desperately needed in every believer today, not just pastors. Otherwise, we will continue to take sermon notes, do Bible studies, attend prayer meetings, all the while people outside our church walls have zero connection point to see Christ lived out among them apart from sharing a cubicle with a Christian coworker.

So how do you do this? Make yourself available to people who don’t believe in Jesus. Forcing the conversation into a quick gospel presentation is probably not going to get anywhere. Yes, it’s essential that they hear and understand about Jesus if they are going to trust in what He did for them, but today people need to see it lived out more than ever before. If I think that as long as I keep preaching from the pulpit all I need to do is trust God to bring unbelievers in, I’m not just crazy, I’m disobeying Jesus who said, “Go and make disciples.” This does not mean entering a territory, dropping the gospel bomb on a few people patient enough to listen to me, and then getting out before it goes off. Going is a lifestyle. It’s a way of life. I’ve come to the personal conviction that at least 50% of my friends (people I play with, spend lots of weekly time with) need to be people who don’t believe in Jesus. Otherwise, I’ll get so comfortable with my Christian friends that the gospel will become secondary in my life while the Christian sub-culture I’m enjoying becomes primary. I’ll morph into a member of a Christian clique. I’ll also lose my heart for people who are not Christians. My ability to relate to people who hold a worldview so different from mine it’s like it came from another galaxy will plummet. I’ll develop a self righteous attitude that implies that I’m some how holier than those people who frequent bars and nightclubs.

So, set up your life to make yourself available to people who believe differently than you. Bring them into your house for dinner, let them hang out around your spouse and your kids. When you see a neighbor's lawnmower blowing smoke like a chimney stack, even if you don't know a lick about lawn mowers (like me), walk over and tell him you're there to do whatever it takes to get that blade spinning again. When your co-workers have a football party to watch the game, buy drinks for everybody and go sit down and just listen to people and show genuine interest in their life.

But what about sharing the gospel? If Christ is Lord of your heart (1 Pet 3:15), you'll be surprised how naturally, quickly, and frequently Jesus will flow from your lips. You can't help it. The guy was crucified so you could be saved from an eternity in hell. How could we not talk about Him?

And at the end of the day, remember that people need to see your faith lived out as they hear it from your lips. Inviting them to church just won't cut it. Every Christian knows how to play church just a little too well and every person who is not a Christian knows that.

Invite him or her into your life, and let your goal to be such good friends with them that they invite you into their circle of friends. That’s the real test of friendship. Yes, if you are a Christian you’ll probably feel awkward and nervous on someone else’s turf the first few times, but watch God use this to start to break your heart for people, to love them as He loves you. And people will start to discover that you are for real, not because you attend church, read the Bible and pray. That won’t impress them. They’ll know you are for real because they can tell you love them unconditionally. You serve them. You listen to them. You love just being with them.

It reminds me of a story long ago about a man accused of being “friend of sinners,” one of the greatest compliments a human could receive. Let the world know that your Christian faith is not a Sunday morning thing (Mat 5:16). It’s your life. People may disagree with what you believe, but when you live it up close, they will respect it at the same time.

And on that day when your friend invites you into her circle of friends, rejoice that you know you’ve gained her trust. After all, it's what Matthew did with Jesus (Mat 9:9-13). And Jesus went to the party. History proves it made all the difference in the world.