Yesterday I spotted three boys around age 11 slobbering over soft porn on library computers. If this is what happens in public, only God knows what's going on at home or at their friend's house. 

At younger and younger ages children are discovering windows into worlds of explicit sexuality, portrayed in a way that perverts the beauty, joy, and worship of sexual pleasure between a man and his wife.

Parents, in all love, if you don't know what your kids are looking at, that's your fault and your negligence is paving the path of his or her destruction. Inevitably your child will be exposed to twisted views of sex no matter how hard you try to protect him or her. But this is no excuse for not doing all you can to train your child up in the teaching and discipline of Jesus Christ (Eph 6:4).

Sooner or later your child will learn about masturbation, sodomy, homosexuality, bestiality, pedophilia, strip teasing, voyeurism and more. And your temptation will be to avoid talking about these subjects with your child in hopes that your he or she will not get tempted by them. Think again. As a child no one had to teach you that you had sexual longings and you looked for ways to fulfill them. As you did, so they will too, and probably sooner today than when you were young, for access to information on sexuality is easier than it's ever been before. So instead of letting a twisted view of sexuality be their first exposure to sex, sit down and tell them it's okay to talk to you about anything, and then just to break the ice, take initiative and ask the hard questions and find out where they are at. Keep this kind of conversation going. 

The other temptation will be to give the impression that sexuality in general is naughty, in hopes that they will avoid it completely. Think again. God made your child sexual and the day is coming when that flower will blossom no matter what you do. Instead, teach them God's view of sex, and how it pleases Him, and how an entire book of the Bible is devoted to exalting the glory and pleasure of sexual intimacy between a man and his wife. I'm not saying tell them everything in one day at age 8. Each child will learn at a different pace and age. The key is that they feel safe talking to you about what they are going through. I'd rather my son share with me that he was tempted with lust, then find out he's been sitting in on conversations with his friends about what they'd like to do to some girl in their class.

Many have criticized guys like Driscoll for their explicit talks on sexuality from Song of Solomon and spend hours debating what's too spicy or obscene to be said in a sermon. Just for reference, the Bible's command to not "speak of the things which are done by them in secret" (Eph 5:12) is talking about slandering people, gossiping about their private sins publicly, or making talk about sinful private actions a pastime. If you look at the context of the passage it becomes obvious that Paul was talking about those who were seeking sinful pleasure through private sin. If one was to make this verse mean "never talk about any secret sin" then he has just condemned every pastor, the apostles, and Jesus Himself for ever talking about lust, gluttony, envy, and cursing God in one's heart, since all of these are private sins as often as they are public. In the previous verse, Paul says that instead of participating in deeds of darkness we are "to expose them" (Eph 5:11). One cannot expose wickedness without talking about it!

It's easier to criticize fellow Christians for being "vulgar" or "explicit" in the pulpit than it is to talk about God and His redemption to people living in sexual sin, or to help a Christian brother or sister get over pornography, second glances, and fantasies. 

So instead of debating these issues, lets get back to the real issue: your heart, God's Word, and your children. What war are you making on your sexual sin? Do you have internet accountability? Do you recognize those weak moments in the day and make preemptive strikes? Do you avoid spending extra time with people you are attracted to who have not committed to you in marriage?

And if you are married, are you taking time to enjoy and relish in lavish sex (I stole the word "lavish" from Spurgeon when talking about intimacy with his own wife) with your own spouse? Are you serving him or her, and meeting their needs selflessly (1 Cor 7:3-4), or are you punishing your spouse by withholding intimacy from him (1 Cor 7:5) or using her like a piece of meat upon which you can unleash your selfish passions? 

Make your purity and the purity of your own children the battle, not some other preacher who has stepped over the line of what you feel is proper. On Judgment Day Jesus won't ask you what you thought of Mark Driscoll's sermons. He'll ask you to give an account for how you have treated your body and how you passed on what you learned to your own children. Yes, there is grace immeasurable for any sexual sin you have committed if you just seek for it in Jesus. He died so that you could be forgiven. But He also died so that you would change, so that your ways would now use sex the way God designed it, frequently and lavishly, with spouse only.